We also tried to include similes and some onomatopoeia in our writing to make it more interesting.
Here are some extracts from our narratives:
Kody had lit a forest fire that quickly ate everything in its path. Soon Kody was surrounded by a vicious ring of fire. It started to close in on him, he could only stand and stare in the face of death but he wasn’t going to die today. No he was going to survive. I had to act quickly if he was going to live. If this was a movie I would jump in and get him out without a scratch on me. But this wasn’t a movie this was reality. Without thinking I jumped in it was just luck that I didn’t get burnt going in. With all my strength I pushed Kody out and then everything started to go dark I jumped out and then blacked out. Demosson
I just kept walking the way I thought I came from. I walked back then I started to panic, so I began to run, then sprinted. I was running and before I knew it I ran into a solid pine tree and rebounded and fall into some blackberry bushes. OUCH! ...
Us boys then put the hangi down. We waited for 8 hours for the hangi to be cooked. Unfortunately when I got the covers off it and we pulled the basket out, it was hot and it dropped on my foot, which burnt right through my shoe. I asked Shaq to take the basket in for me because I needed to go and get my foot checked at the hospital. At the hospital the nurses said I was fine to go. Sweet!
I then drove to the Ware – Whare to get me some shoes but they were too poor. So I went to Morrissey’s to where the flash shoes were at. My shoe problem was solved; I could go back to Christian’s party. Lucky
“I’m so bored,” Kate groaned. It was the 3rd week of the school holidays and she hadn’t seen one of her friends! Her parents had taken her to a batch by the sea in Cambridge, with no internet connection! Radio stations! Or any cell phone reception. It was hell on earth for a teenage girl. She twirled her brown hair but eventually gave up and looked outside to be disappointed by rain. Then she searched the bookshelves finding Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix. “Dad have I reed this one yet,” she asked. Her dad looked back from his paper-work “I don’t know honey,” he replied. Kate trudged her way upstairs and slammed the door. She jumped onto her bed which made it shudder underneath her.
Kate opened the book “Wow, “she said sarcastically and started to read... ColletteAGHHHHHH! Screamed a couple of kids that were caught in a rip Jase ran to the end of the wharf and shouted “Moana go get help!” He could feel adrenaline pumping through his body. He knew he had to do something. He shouted, “Don’t worry help is on its way!”. He found a board floating in the water and grabbed a branch not far from the wharf and got into the water. The rip’s current carried him towards the children. He reached out to get them but he lost his balance. Luckily he got back on with the three children tugging onto his clothes. Finally the lifeguards showed up and were able to pull them up to safety. Iva
In the middle of the night, dogs were howling and the wind was making the trees sway side to side.
So Dad went outside to see what it was he took his torch and went into the pitch black forest. The children all reacted, they were frightened and worried. They watched their dad leave but then Sarah cried because she was thinking about what it was and what it might do to her Dad, she might not see her dad again. KowhaiIt was a week into the school holidays and Bobs mum had organised a trip to the woods Bob invited some friends; their names were Sandy and Richard. They were going to go camping. As they were in the car they were singing a school song it was called’ Musical Demons’. They sang that song until their voices cracked.
They arrived in the woods and Bobs mum slowed down her driving just in case she crashed. The kids also quietened down their singing. They all looked out their windows and saw a cottage nearby their camping site. Everyone stopped what they were doing besides Mum she kept on driving.
“Wow!” whispered Sandy “that’s an awesome house”. Shaneya
I gulped and shouted, “did any one bring a compass?” Sadly no one did from there on we were lost. Ben suggested we should carry on with the hunt then will try to find our way out of here. After everyone had their moans and groans we came to a reasonable agreement. We all kept walking and walking, our legs were tired they felt like wobbly jelly. Half an hour later we heard trees rustling it sounded like they were whispering to each other ...
Jemaine
On Marie’s farm there was a forest. There used to be a path through it but 3 days ago there had been a storm and now the path was covered in mud and leaves. Marie thought that she knew the path off by heart. I was hoping that nothing would happen while we were in the forest because I wouldn’t know the way back.
About half an hour into our walk we came across a wolf. It was golden brown with evil black eyes. It made a horrible growling noise. Then all of a sudden it pounced at us but we started sprinting back to Marie’s house. It felt like I was running as fast as a cheetah. Marie yelled “IT’S CATCHING UP!!” then just as she finished that sentence; the wolf jerked Marie away from me... Josie
Jemaine
Johnny snapped and sprinted out of the cave while this mean old wicked, ghost flew into the air, she was ugly with pimples and hairs all over her face, she also had grey and black hair.
I quickly threw the moonstones on the hard concrete ground and CRASH! they smashed into a million pieces. The ghost witch screamed, “AHHHHHH” and vanished.
I picked up a souvenir and screamed “VICTORY IS OURS”. Lukah
Shaquille and Lorenzo had advanced to the finals which meant they were going to fight each other. Then all of a sudden, there was a clap of thunder above and a white light appeared in the sky, it started moving towards them, slowly covering everything within eyesight.
The light finally got to them and they could hear someone’s voice: “Lunch is ready”, then again, “Hurry up boys, lunch is ready!”
“Who was that?” Shaquille asked Lorenzo.
“I dunno” said Lorenzo.
The yellow light enveloped them, they both felt warm and a bit tired and just closed their eyes for a second. A big BANG noise woke them up. They were back in the bathroom, and Mum was standing there in the doorway “Come on guys, gee I’ve been calling you for lunch for ages”.
“How weird was that?” Lorenzo said. He and Shaquille high-fived each other and laughed on their way to the kitchen to grab their lunch.“I think we’ve played inside enough today, aye” Shaquille suggested. Jonas
Finally the weekend has arrived, “Rotoma here we come”. We launched the boat, Jack, Dad and I head across the lake. As we hit the five knot buoy, Dad cut the throttle and headed into the flooded jetty. Dad says, “Tie her up Jack”. I jump out and tie the boat to the pole; little did we know what was ahead of us.
We ran up the track with our heavy back packs and our hands full of shopping bags. Jack and I got the job of lighting the outdoor camp fire “Yum” bacon butties for smoko. Now the adventure began Jack and I head down the back track, past the long drop and through the gate.
Jack
“I think we're on a pirate ship” Joy said amazed. The pirate ship looked very old. It had bits of wood that looked like they had been pulled out and its sail has been ripped. “It doesn’t look like there are many people around,” Nicole said as she looked around the ship. Just then a pirate appeared and he walked up to us. He had a pirate hat on, a parrot on his shoulder and baggy pants that looked really funny on him. “I’m Black Beard what are you doing on my ship?” he said evily
“We don’t know how we got here, we just want to go home,” we said to Black Beard. Logan
I got out of bed. It was a sunny and good day for fishing here in Tokoroa.I got the rods and blew up the inflatable dingy. I went to New World to pick up the bait, then to Lucky’s place. He was helping his dad on the trailer. After picking up Ben we headed to the Waikato River
Three minutes later Lucky growled “there’s no fish”. He was right; the river was as empty as my dog Jacks bowl
Then suddenly Ben’s reel started spinning like crazy,“I’ve got a big one” said Ben as he went to reel it in.
Lucky yelled “it’s not a fish it’s a shark” ...
Then suddenly the boat tipped forward…BOOOM…I plunged head first into the water. I could feel the bottom of the river. I saw Jermaine sinking lower and lower.
I tried to call out to Jermaine, but the only thing that came out were bubbles and more bubbles ‘Jermaine Jermaine” I shrieked then I remembered ‘air air I need air”. I try to swim up. I don’t even know what I am doing, it is not a swimming technique but it is fast. I am nearly at the surface and Im thinking ….nearly there…come on…..just a little more then…
“Breathe, breathe” cried Lucky as he punched my chest.
“HHHHUUUU,” I spluttered as I coughed the water out of my lungs
‘Dammit Lucky” I coughed some more water out “I told you not to buy those Warehouse life jackets”.
“What …they were on special $ 2 a jacket!” said Lucky as he stomped into the bush
“That is why they didn’t work” I shouted but he had already disappeared.
Christian
